Formal etiquette and respect is central to Turkish culture. Children are taught from a young age that you are respectful of your elders and this lesson in life is shown throughout all human interactions. In a formal situation, unknown men will be addressed as "Bey (Mr)" and women as "Hanim (Miss)". If you have become friendly with someone and they are older than you, you will always address them with their name followed by "Abi" (big brother) if a male or "Abla" (big sister) if a female. When younger Turks meet with the elderly they will always be greeted in the same way. The younger person will take the hand of the elderly, touch it to their chin and the to the forehead. This is a sign of respect and the elderly know to expect it, so much so that they will put their hand forthright on arrival, but never in an arrogant way. Men will always greet one another with a hand shake and if they are a good friend or family they show further affection by touching the side of each others foreheads, or even a kiss on both cheeks. Women will greet each other with kisses to each cheek, but never to a male that they do not know. Men will never offer their hand to a woman unless the woman puts hers out first.
The family unit is one of utmost importance to a Turk. Turks are expected to marry and have kids which most of them do from a young age. Although there are no longer arranged marriages throughout Turkey, family still plays an important role in the couples choice of partner. Before they officially announce their courtship, the couple will ask their respective families to meet with one another. This could be the mothers, fathers, aunts and uncles all included. The family will still advise if they deem the other suitable or not. If so, an engagement will be announced so they can officially court one another in public and then a wedding will usually follow not too long after. Normally one of the sons in the family, will always live at home. Once married his new bride, known as a "gelin" (bride) will move in and together they will live with his mother and father. He will be there to provide for them, share his income and help with expenses. Turks are very protective over children and absolutely adore them. When a son is born into a family this is normally celebrated as it is said to increase the status of the woman among the family and then the family onto the community. Boys are taught from a young age to be courageous, assertive and respectful of their elders. Traditionally they are still circumcised, at a later age between 9 and 12 and this celebrated throughout the extended family. When a daughter is born, she is also enthusiastically welcomed and is bought up to be modest, compliant and virtuous. Although there are still specific roles that both the men and women will play within the family and household, these roles are changing as Turkey becomes a more westernised culture.
Turkey still has compulsory military service, where the young men at the age of 21 must go off for 12 - 15 months of military training. With more children being encouraged to go to university these days, this service is normally delayed until university is completed and then the time frame is shortened to only around 5 months. Normally when a son is being sent off to military service the whole family will gather to see him off. The community will play witness as normally the family and friends will get a convoy of cars and drive through town together beeping their horns and shouting out to see the young man off. This parade is also carried out for weddings and circumcisions where you will see the happy couple or the young boy paraded in the leading car. At times live musicians playing on the back of a truck can make up part of the convoy.
The Turks are very proud people. When it comes to their flag, you will see it flown from nearly every town, city, village, monument and even from peoples cars and homes. To Turkish people, the flag represents national independence and the values to be held up within society. Every shop, cafe, restaurant, guesthouse or hotel you will stay in will always have a photo of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk proudly hanging up on display. Its also very common to see a "bazar boncugu" or evil eye hanging within peoples homes and places of business. The Turks are suspicious people and they believe the evil eye can keep the envious and greedy eyes of others at bay. The pride of a Turk always plays a part in every day life as well. Homes are always kept spotlessly clean and you never wear shoes into a home. All shoes are left at the doorstep with slippers being offered for the cooler months and there are always little plastic shoes to wear in the bathrooms.
In Turkey, they also have what is known as "Turkish time". Its not frowned up to be late, meetings will always will finish with tea and social chatting, and there is never such thing as "calling in for a quick 5 minutes". Although a Turk may never be on time, you will never be forgotten.
